I Hear Noises

Driver 8, Take A Break

2008-08-26T12:44:00.001-07:00

A return trip to Cardiff, including an overnight drive. 9 hours sleep in two nights. Two REM gigs. Worth it? Totally. Two very different shows, one indoor, full of rarities and a more traditional big stadium show, both delivered with energy to burn.

Manchester Photos

Cardiff Photos

After the break, more Stereophonics!

2008-08-16T13:20:00.000-07:00

"After the break, more Stereophonics!". Is there a sentence more likely to break the human spirit?

Frankly, so far 4Music's V Festival programming has been a load of wank at best. The right channel keeps cutting out when they go to live coverage, and because bands occasionally swear, they cover it over with crowd noise, which just sounds ridiculous.

It's hosted by wankers who use words like "fezzie" and "rizzle", and while Muse are, as I type, entertaining the masses, we've instead got a pointless piece with a couple of morons on a camp site showing us a bag to wee in. It's like a metaphor for the quality of their coverage.

Oh, it gets worse. The following has just scrolled across the screen. "Still to come... performances from Jamie T and the Pigeon Detectives".

Shit, and shit. What kind of name is the Pigeon Detectives for a band anyway? Tossers.

And why is it that festival crowds on television always look like a neon clad argument for mass sterilisation? I'm sure it's never that bad when I'm there in real life? Or maybe I just don't notice.

Update: Age has not withered the unremitting awfulness of "Stella" by Jamie T.

Update 2 : They're showing The Pogues. Shane MacGowan may possibly have visited a local hostelry. He appears somewhat refreshed, and news hasn't reached him about the legality of smoking in the workplace.

State of The Union

2008-08-08T15:25:00.001-07:00

David Ford has started blogging. In an entirely unsurprising turn of events, they make great reading.

http://www.fordisms.blogspot.com

Sometimes they just don't get it.

2008-08-04T10:57:00.001-07:00

I just got emailed an invitation to pre-order the new Ben Folds record. Excellent news, I thought.

It wasn't.

Firstly, if I want all the available music, Mr Folds would like no less than $84.99 US of my money. Plus shipping. Plus customs charges. So, since we're friends, let's call that £50.

Mr Folds can, let us be blunt, go fuck himself. It's all very well to have an exclusive package available with whatever bits and pieces they like to add, but to make the bonus CD of new songs only available in the most expensive package in this day and age, is absolutely ludicrous. Don't want the DVD. Don't want the vinyl. Don't want the box. Don't need it signed. I. Just. Want. The. Music. - and to pay a fair price for it.

Doesn't matter. They won't ship to the UK anyway. So I'll download it.

Oh, and want pre-sale tickets? Buy it again, from iTunes. They've got their own bonus tracks too!

Hooray for this brave new dawn of music retail.

Extreme Ways

2008-07-24T14:13:00.000-07:00

In lieu of a proper post, here's Moby performing Lou Reed's "Walk On The Wild Side", acoustic at the Ruby Lounge in Manchester last night.

And for extra comedy, here's Ring Of Fire. Yes, *THAT* Ring Of Fire.

iPhone 3G Watch - Day Three

2008-07-09T14:01:00.001-07:00

It's only bloody shipped.

One Down

2008-07-09T12:43:00.000-07:00

Just back from another missed gig, thanks to my fantastic new car. Thank you, Volkswagen, thank you RAC and thank you, A1 for getting me home in just FIVE HOURS, quite a feat for a 20 mile distance.

On Friday, while awaiting the Bangles gig in Sheffield (I know, I know) the power steering went. This was theoretically fixed by the RAC on Saturday. Obviously it wasn't - and it went again while in Liverpool, having also wasted a half day holiday. I was the first person there, of course, would have been right at the front.

VW would like me to put a £150 deposit on the hire car (oh yes, I have that in my pocket, here you go) and I'm by no means confident that they're going to sort this out.

Happy? Not much.

Diary of a Madman.

2008-07-08T13:00:00.001-07:00

Call O2 to ask what's going on with my order. "Oh, this is sales, you need to speak to customer services."

Call customer services.

"Oh no, you're a new contract, that's sales."

Call sales. Bit cross.

"We'll call the relevant department and call you back in 5 minutes".

Wait. Still cross. No answer.

Call sales. Quite cross.

"I'll call you back in 5 minutes."

- insert deafening silence -

Call sales. Speak to moron. 10 minutes on hold. "We don't have access to that system. Call customer services."

Call customer services.

"We're a bit behind, call tomorrow if you haven't heard anything."

*DIES*

Memories

2008-07-07T06:38:00.001-07:00

Things I remember cleary about yesterday:

Being very tired. Waking up in a Travelodge. Rain.

Things I remember only vaguely yesterday:

Ordering 5 Rachael Sage albums, 2 Tristan Prettyman albums and the Fine Frenzy album.

My Mistake

2008-07-07T05:03:00.000-07:00

Following on from my previous post about The Ted Baker Dress (tm), I finally ordered it today, having found it in their sale, only to find out I'd ordered it a size too small.

This is evidently a huge mistake. It looks like I'm insulting her (without meaning to) and as there are none of the next size up available anywhere in the country, it's this or nothing. Bugger.

How to go from nice gesture to fuck up in one easy step!

While we're on the subject of fuck ups, let's talk about O2 and the iPhone launch.

It's now been just five hours (!) since I started trying to order one. I finally managed to get an 8Gb unit, even thought I wanted a 16Gb - their systems got utterly screwed over by what was effectively a thorough DDOS attack. Ah well, I suppose it's cost me less, and I'll just not be retiring the iPod. Seeing as my N95 has committed suicide in protest, the sooner the better.

To add insult to injury O2 didn't just accept my application, but referred it for a credit check. A quick check of Experian shows my accounts to be exactly as I imagine them and perfectly in order. So we shall see what happens. If they don't want my custom, I guess it'll be a HTC Diamond and then an unlocked PAYG iPhone come December...

Honesty in advertising

2008-07-07T03:37:00.000-07:00

This advert just seen on Facebook:

"Fat? You have parasites!"

Erm... okay...

Sound of Silence

2008-07-06T10:23:00.000-07:00

Back home from the Cornbury festival, having taken one look at the weather this morning and (I'm sad to say) decided not to brave the elements for the second day.

Thought yesterday was very good, by and large. An excellent opening set from the mighty Love Trousers (although many didn't get to see it, I imagine because the gates opened late) and managed to blag their double B-Side CD from Mr Ellen himself.

Half Man Half Biscuit were their usual selves, helped by the excellent sound ensuring their lyrics were audible. In fact, that was a recurring theme throughout the day - just how well things could be picked out in the sound mix.

The Bangles were better than I'd expected, and looking remarkably well preserved.

Toots & The Maytalls really got the crowd going - lots of call and response. Hadn't expected to enjoy it, but it was impossible not to be won over.

Beverly Knight was the one act I saw yesterday who didn't do it for me, especially following the energy of T&TM who must be at least 30 years her senior. I didn't think she really engaged the crowd, but I could be wrong.

Paul Simon - bit of a mixed bag. I know you can't have all the hits, but no Still Crazy, no Kodachrome, no Bridge Over Troubled Water? I guess the curfew might have had something to do with it, though. I was also a bit unsure about some of the arrangements, at points I thought he might be threatening to do a Dylan and really play fast and loose with melody and rhythm - seemed to disturb the crowd singalong for songs like Mrs Robinson. It was nice to see him again, but I've seen better performances.

Oh, and there's a few photos here, including several of the Love Trousers...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/m_g_gray/sets/72157606012177897/

Make It Go Away

2008-06-25T13:03:00.001-07:00

This is disturbingly accurate. I hate George Lamb with every fibre of my being.

Right Side of Wrong

2008-06-24T11:29:00.000-07:00

Well, despite my earlier condemnation of LiveNation as the kind of force for evil that might one day destroy the very fabric of the music industry, I'd like to take a moment to give credit where it's due.

Last Friday, in the pursuit of classic rock (what do you mean, embarassing hair metal?) we headed to the MEN Arena to see Whitesnake and Def Leppard, something that was meant to be a bit of light relief after a couple of weeks of our respective mothers being ill.

Unfortunately, all we saw all night was a speaker stack with a light on it, which the production had thoughtfully placed in our line of sight. MEN Customer services couldn't move us beause it was sold out, so with little expectation, I emailed LiveNation - as promoter.

I got a reply less than a day later, offering tickets of equal value to any of their future shows - much as I'm tempted to make it 5 shows out of 6 for the Kylie run at the Arena, I think I'd better look at something else.

While I'm giving plaudits for customer service, another 'above and beyond' for Ted Baker. Gemma had seen a dress in a magazine a few months ago, and I was considering buying it for her, but a ) Being male and b) Having slept since then, I couldn't describe it to you if my life depended on it. By telling her how much and when the article was published, we eventually deduced the correct item. Good work, Carrie in customer services!

The Wall

2008-06-13T11:30:00.000-07:00

This full time result just in:
Gravity 1 Idiot 0

Monster Love

2008-06-13T05:47:00.000-07:00

Is this review of the new Hulk movie the year's finest film review? I think it might be.

"Roth groin area ambiguous. Groin area look lumpy. Bumpy. Perhaps odd penis. Perhaps odd trousers. Critic ... not sure."

She Bop

2008-06-12T05:06:00.001-07:00

I am unreasonably excited at the idea that Cyndi Lauper is finally touring the UK. When did she visit last? 1996?

Bumble Bee

2008-06-12T01:54:00.000-07:00

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2008/jun/11/9?gusrc=rss&feed=networkfront

"A shocked reveller dressed as a bumble bee gave birth during a friend's hen party without previously knowing she was pregnant.

Ally Ashwell, from Newcastle, was partying in Blackpool when she realised something was wrong."

Where do we start with what was wrong?

- She was on a hen party in Blackpool
- She was dressed as a fucking bumble bee

Need I go on?

Robyn Live at Manchester Academy June 10th 2008

2008-06-10T15:44:00.001-07:00

Geek Love

2008-06-09T11:54:00.000-07:00

The 3G iPhone is disgustingly nice. Everything from the GPS to the App Store to the 3G. It means leaving T-Mobile after 10 years, and getting tied to O2 for 18 months, but actually the contract is £7 less than my current one per month, and the phone's going to cost me maybe £200 for the 16Gb. Can't really argue with that.

Out the same day I'm going to see Kylie. I think that might be a dictionary definition "good day" :)

I Predict A Riot

2008-06-09T05:30:00.001-07:00

With crashing inevitability, I got a ticket to see Blondie at the Liverpool Pops this July. I hate the Liverpool Pops with a firey passion. Why? Because they insist on a huge gold circle, and sell premium packages for the good seats.

Every year, the same rigmorole. Tickets go on sale - you get offered bad seats - you wait until mid-June, they decide how many people they can rip off for the premium packages, then put a load of the good seats on sale at normal prices.

So likely I'll be sat on the front row (yes, I got a front row ticket for face value, no package) next to some muppet who paid upwards of £100 for the same view. When will this ridiculous package system stop?

Are You Ready?

2008-06-08T06:19:00.001-07:00

Thea Gilmore last night - actually a bit of an odd and uneven set in terms of content. A couple of covers, at least one unreleased track, and a new band member called Fluff. Also a sparser audience than usual, and one with a couple of talkers. Bah.

Lighting was a bit awkward, but the audio on the two songs below is pretty great.

Set List:

Old Soul
Seen It All Before
Rosie
Dance In New York
You Spin Me Round
God's Got Nothing On You (new)
Sisters Of Mercy (Leonard Cohen)
Saviours & All
If You Miss Me
Black Letter
Avalanche
Call Me Your Darling
This Girl Is Taking Best
Are You Read
===
December In New York
When I Get Back To Shore
The Lower Road

You Spin Me...

Are You Ready...

Candyman

2008-06-06T08:02:00.001-07:00

Myself and Ms Niftyshellsuit at work have long since hatched a plan to go halves and buy one of Cybercandy's out of date mystery parcels of strange confectionary in order to bewilder our colleagues and possibly earn ourselves a few days off work with candy poisoning.

So you'll imagine my surprise, when this lot turned up at my door this afternoon.

Going to have to put a few more quid in her leaving collection now!

Here comes the rain again

2008-05-27T09:55:00.001-07:00

Today has just been a day of bad things happening. It all started with a phone call at around 9am - Mum fell and broke her ankle in the garden, necessitating the ambulance, paramedics, the whole nine yards.

When I got to the hospital, they refused point blank to tell me anything until I'd sat in Waiting Room 3 for an hour like a lemon. This was worsened by the fact that Jeremy FUCKING Kyle was on. I'd heard of him only by repute, but this is a man who makes George Lamb look like John Peel. I have never wanted to murder someone more. Never.

When they finally did deign to tell me what was going on, I got about twenty minutes before they announced that she was going to theatre. This would have been around 11am. As I type, she has just gone - it is 6pm.

During the afternoon they have
- Failed to figure out who she is
- Told me which ward she was on, only for the ward to deny all knowledge and have no beds
- Tried to take her to theatre in a bed that contravened regulations necessitating them having to run around headless, complaining that they couldn't find rails
- Told me not to visit because she was being moved, only to find she hadn't been moved at all

And so on, and so forth. It's been a shocking experience, to be honest. There's been no information, no helpfulness, and my mother by the time they took her up for the operation was scared to death.

I'm scared to death too.

Life On Mars

2008-05-15T07:07:00.001-07:00

No intelligent life on American TV it seems.